Not advice.

Not really essays in the usual sense either.

More like things I’ve noticed, usually after I stop trying so hard to notice them.

(I also wrote a book called Humans Working that explores what happens when we stop treating people like machines.)

The FoundatioN

I don’t fix problems, optimize lives, or squeeze productivity out of exhausted souls. I just sit with people and help them remember what they already knew.

The Amateur Surgeon

A reflection on spending 30 years fixing tech systems, and how that trains us to treat human beings like broken servers.

The Invisible Contract

An exploration of how high-performing men learn to earn love through achievement, and what happens when that weight is finally put down.

Field Notes

Shipwreck

Corporate culture isn't a list of values on a wall. It's what happens in the sixty seconds of silence after you tell your team the company is dead.

Twelve Days Old

A story from the emergency room with my newborn daughter, and the realization even in the worst of times, life seems to take care of itself.

The Trash Bag

A developer threw a fit and tried to quit. A look at why refusing to catch someone else's panic is more effective than an HR intervention.

The Autograph Line

Watching a musician interact with 7,000 fans taught me that people aren't looking for advice—they just want to be completely seen.

The Other Guy

One friend faced prison with total calm, while another was miserable about a free house. Proof that the weather outside doesn't dictate the weather inside.

The Inner Cold Feeling

I tried to warm up my freezing 1940s office with heaters and blankets. It turns out, the heat doesn't come from the room.

When the Startle Softens

I cared, but I didn't mind. What happens when you stop bracing against life and the panic finally fades.

The Airport Bar

A 90-minute encounter at an airport bar that proved you don't need a technique, an intervention, or even a probing question to help someone.

The Resigning Employee

I tried to convince a key employee to stay for the good of the company. Letting him go was the only honest choice.

The Illusion of Control

We may be the one raising the sail, but neither we nor the sail are doing the work.

Reflections on Attachment

Reflections on things not worth being attached to.

Do We Need to Teach Tolerance?

Reflections on why teaching tolerance and fighting hate can backfire.

Dollar Store, Early Morning

Thoughts on extending compassion even when it seems ill-deserved.

Downhill

We treat corporate stress like a contagious virus. But misery doesn't flow downhill; it only exists in the mind of the person experiencing it.

The Interrogation

The only hiring tactic that actually works is also the easiest: treat people like they're actually people.

No Suffering

A story about a survivor of abuse, and how the heaviest, darkest burdens can dissolve not through intervention, but through absolute stillness.

A Cultural Softening

Even TV seems to be getting kinder.

Combating Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome isn't something than be eradicated through effort.

The Magic of Jim Henson and the Muppets

Jim Henson is the ultimate case study in rejecting the corporate machine.

The Subtle Art of Forgiveness

True forgiveness isn't a pardon. It's just putting down the gavel.

What If (Worst Case Scenarios)

A list I wrote after my divorce, realizing that even if every fear came true, I'd still be fine.

What If This is Heaven

We may be living in heaven but not noticing because the noise in our heads is stronger than the signal.

Planning for 95

We all walk around with a subconscious timeline in our heads.

Hiring the Unhireable

A bakery in New York hires anyone who walks through the door, no questions asked. Why corporate due diligence is usually just an illusion of control.

Ducks in a Row

Peace is not the result of getting all our ducks in a row.

All Those Times

There is nothing to change, to have more or less of. Only the gratitude for the privilege to experience the wild ride we call life.

Before and After

Inner transformation is a lot quieter than physical transformation.

The Networking Myth

A story about a joke on the internet, a Zoom call, and the profound relief of actual, unscripted human connection.

You Don't Have to Be Anything

Maybe it's okay to not achieve anything, and just be.

Worst Case Scenarios

A list I wrote after my divorce, realizing that even if every fear came true and I lost everything, I would still be fine.

The Phantom Leak

The mechanics of addiction are obvious when we know where to look.