I used to think forgiveness meant pardoning someone for a perceived wrongdoing. It felt like a noble transaction: you did something wrong, and I, from my higher ground, decided to let you off the hook.
Lately, I’ve come to see it completely differently.
Forgiveness isn't about the other person at all. It’s just the realization that it was never my job to judge them in the first place.
It’s forgiving myself for holding the grudge. For thinking I had the whole picture. For looking at another human being and reducing them to their worst moment, instead of seeing that whatever they did was just a clumsy, messy attempt to find safety.
True forgiveness isn't a pardon. It's just putting down the gavel.