Years ago, I was managing a tech team inside a company that ran several specialized neurology clinics. One of our best guys gave me two months' notice. He had started at the bottom, learned fast, and was now significantly underpaid. I fought for a raise, but the clinic only gave him a few small bumps. It wasn't enough.
When he told me he was strongly considering another offer, my knee-jerk reaction was panic. We’d be screwed without him. I didn't tell him not to go, but I started subtly building a case against the other company. I told him they added less value to the world. I reminded him about our flexible schedule. I was trying to manage his life to protect my project.
Then I caught myself. I realized the move was exactly what he needed, and I promptly shut my mouth. He took the job.
Within weeks of him leaving, management changed and the clinic started spiraling. It stopped being a fun place to work. A decision was made to kill the exact project he had been working on.
If my manipulation had worked—if I had successfully convinced him to stay for the "good of the team"—he would have been miserable, and we likely would have laid him off a month later.