People love to say, “You don’t have it that bad. Look at that guy.”
It implies that if you just realized someone else has it worse, you’d automatically feel better. It’s a complete lie.
Several years ago, I went out for drinks with a friend. At the time, he’d been embroiled as the defendant in a serious criminal case—for a crime he didn't commit—for 18 months. In the two weeks prior to his arrest, he’d been dumped by his serious girlfriend, lost his high-paying job, and been diagnosed with skin cancer.
I asked him, almost accusingly, “How are you so calm?” I reminded him that he might be going to prison, or getting deported, on top of everything else.
He just looked at me and said, “Everyone has their Top 10 problems. You just mentioned my Top 4.” He was completely convinced he’d be fine, some way, somehow.
Then I have another friend, Greg. He left a good career in his 40s, invested wisely, and lives comfortably off the proceeds. His dad, sitting on a large pile of cash, recently decided to buy Greg an expensive house, in cash.
Greg is currently stressed out of his mind. He is convinced something is going to go drastically wrong—that his mail won’t be properly forwarded to the new mansion, that he won’t have internet access for a few days, and that he doesn’t really “deserve” a house he didn’t pay for.
If circumstances dictated our state of mind, the math would be simple. Sam would be in a psych ward, and Greg would be floating.
But the weather outside has absolutely nothing to do with the weather inside.