Reflections on Attachment

I’ve known about the concept of attachment for a long time. If pressed, I would have told you I wasn’t attached to much.

Then I sat down and wrote this list.

I realized pretty quickly that getting attached to the idea of non-attachment is just another trap. As the Buddha said, “the desire for non-desire is still a desire.” I don’t want to be in a battle with myself over whether I’ve attained some mythical level of enlightenment.

So this isn’t a goal sheet. It’s just a record of what I noticed.

Things Not to be Attached to:

  • to doing the right thing
  • to being kind
  • to being right
  • to being a good dad and husband and supporting my family
  • to supporting or changing the world or making a difference
  • to pleasing or not offending people
  • to concepts like minimalism
  • to cleanliness and organization
  • to the way things should be
  • to how others should treat their kids or themselves
  • to pleasing my mentors, parents, or those who didn’t believe in me
  • to my ideas or methods
  • to achieving goals
  • to being safe
  • to money or the idea of money or the idea of not-money
  • to friendships that come and go or rise and fall
  • to whether my daughter will want to be with me when she's older
  • to staying married
  • to being "spiritual" or trying to be somehow "get life right"
  • to a picture of physical health or a “good” body
  • to having a child-like spirit
  • to teachers I've put faith into who may or may not have the answers
  • to being recognized
  • to being seen as a good at my career du jour, despite my obvious flaws
  • to being the best at anything or even to being good at something
  • to enlightenment
  • to traveling and exploring and adventure
  • to where i live
  • to holding onto what I've created
  • to my age
  • to being seen as smart by "very smart" people
  • to always keeping my promises
  • to following a routine 
  • to whether things are fair — within my microcosm and with the world at large
  • to whether or not I’m living my dreams 
  • to whether my family accepts me
  • to the degree to which the I’m attached to things  
  • to how other "successful" people do things