I worked with a guy who was in the middle of a really ugly divorce, with finances in the toilet and a wrecked resume after years as a stay-at-home dad.
Because of his budget, we agreed to do coaching entirely by text and voice message.
He told me in no uncertain terms that all he cared about was putting the f’ing divorce behind him and getting a job. I could have helped him clean up his resume, strategize his custody battle, or prep for interviews. I’ve done that in the past, and it sucks.
So, I promised him nothing.
He hated our first conversations. It was hard for him to hear anything besides what he already “knew” to be true. Out of sheer frustration that I wasn't giving him a strategy, he’d disappear from our text chains for weeks at a time.
I didn't chase him, and I didn't offer him a framework to fix his life. I just kept reminding him that life takes care of life, even when it really looks like it isn’t.
To his credit, he stuck with it. He stopped fighting. He found a job on his own. The divorce resolved itself as amicably as could be expected, and he stopped carrying the hate.
I didn’t solve his problems. I just sat there in the texts until he stopped trying to force the outcome.