Reflections on Attachment
January 29, 2026
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For a long time, I've known about the the Buddhist concept of attachment, and I thought that I wasn’t attached to much — until I wrote this list.
Just the awareness that I was able to generate such a long list so quickly loosened something without me trying to loosen it.
But, as Buddha said, the desire for non-desire is still a desire, so I am sharing this list not as something to aspire to, but just as recognition of clutter.
Things Not to be Attached to:
- to doing the right thing
- to being kind
- to being right
- to being a good dad and husband and supporting my family
- to supporting or changing the world or making a difference
- to pleasing or not offending people
- to concepts like minimalism
- to cleanliness and organization
- to the way things should be
- to how others should treat their kids or themselves
- to pleasing my mentors, parents, or those who didn’t believe in me
- to my ideas or methods
- to achieving goals
- to being safe
- to money or the idea of money or the idea of not-money
- to friendships that come and go or rise and fall
- to whether my daughter will want to be with me when she's older
- to staying married
- to being "spiritual" or trying to be somehow "get life right"
- to a picture of physical health or a “good” body
- to having a child-like spirit
- to teachers I've put faith into who may or may not have the answers
- to being recognized
- to being seen as a good at my career du jour, despite my obvious flaws
- to being the best at anything or even to being good at something
- to enlightenment
- to traveling and exploring and adventure
- to where i live
- to holding onto what I've created
- to my age
- to being seen as smart by "very smart" people
- to always keeping my promises
- to following a routine
- to whether things are fair — within my microcosm and with the world at large
- to whether or not I’m living my dreams
- to whether my family accepts me
- to the degree to which the I’m attached to things
- to how other "successful" people do things
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